Category Archives: worth it

Before and After

I am just over 5 months post op (surgery January 28th 2016) and I am feeling great!! I wanted to share a before and after picture with you. And I want to share my stats with all of you as well. SW 274lbs  CW 193 lbsIMG_0474

prettywife

The first picture was taken while road tripping to Ottawa from Vancouver last July for my brothers wedding. The second picture was taken yesterday. It is amazing to me the difference in these two pictures. There’s also a lot going on in the pictures that you can’t see. For instance in the first picture I am thrilled to have gotten to the Winnie the Pooh statue but I am in pain. My back hurt, my hips hurt, my ankles which you can’t see in the picture are swollen and I have a smile on my face but my first reaction when I saw the picture was is this really what I look like?

The second picture however tells an entirely different story. I am finally in a dress that I have been trying to get into for months. It’s a size 16!! I am no longer in pain. I have a gap between my legs and I no longer feel self conscious. And my smile just shows how much my new life is radiating in me. I have changed so much since the first picture. I have signed up for 3 5k, I am hiking more with my family, I am camping with my family…I also have a huge list of things I want to do like learn how to skate, buy a bike to go bike riding, kayak, do more dance classes the list goes on and on.

I feel like I have been given a new lease on life and I am not going to waste one second of it worried about anything except how it will make me feel. I use to spend most of my time worrying what other people would think if I was riding a bike or skating etc and now I am simply living my life for me 🙂

 

The struggle is far from over

Everyone thinks that once you have weight loss surgery everything will be rosy and life will go back to normal after 6 weeks of recovery. I’m not 6 weeks post op yet but I can tell you that I don’t think this will be the case for me. I think that even if i am confident in my choice to have weight loss surgery there are tons of things going thru my head at any given moment of the day.

When you do your orientation they tell you that it takes 6 weeks for you to heal. Although I think this might be the case for the physical body to heal I don’t think it’s true off your mental health. No I am not depressed or anything but I do have a lot of fears. I fear that the surgery will be unsuccessful  and I will be obese all my life. I fear that I am eating the wrong foods. I fear I am not eating enough or that I have eaten too much. I fear I will get an infection. I fear that I will disappoint my surgeon, dietician and medical teams that have gotten me ready for surgery. I fear that I will stretch my pouch out. I fear that I will always experience pain when I eat. So although my body is healing I think my mind will need some time to stop fearing everything I’ve mentioned.

I also think that just because I had surgery once I am healed it isn’t a free pass to eat whatever I want. I think it will always be something I need to work at. What I am putting into my body and how I am burning off my calories as well.

Right now I am averaging about 200-600 calories a day. And the scale is not budging anymore. I know it’s normal to have a stall especially since I am eating so low calorie but when I get on the scale and see that I am the same or that I have gained my mind starts freaking out. So for now I won’t be using the scale, I will measure myself once a month and do my weight in when I have my appointments.

I’m sure this rollercoaster is far from being stopped so I will hang on and enjoy the ride.